


Hidden Secrets

by Shadow_of_Quill



Category: Death Note
Genre: M/M, hermaphrodite!Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:01:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2840675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_of_Quill/pseuds/Shadow_of_Quill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kinkmeme prompt: "They have been dating for awhile but Light never let L have sex with him, because he has a pussy and really, really ashamed of it so that he's never touched his female part before.<br/>But L finds out and in fact it turns him on, a lot."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to post this earlier. Oops.

"Let go of me! Now!"

L gave Light his most innocent smile. "I am not touching Light-kun."

Light's glare should have killed him where he was. Instead, L crouched on the bed beside his boyfriend of over a year, watching without concern as Light rattled the cuffs chaining him to the headboard and snarled, "Don't pretend you don't know what I mean!" Temporarily conceding defeat, he let himself fall back onto the sheets and demanded, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want a more mature relationship with Light-kun."

Light took in L's 'overgrown child' pose, complete with finger pressed to his lips, and gave him a distinctly unimpressed look. "Yes, maturity is certainly what I associate with you."

L blinked as cutely as possible. "I have no idea what Light-kun is trying to insinuate." Before Light could react to the blatant lie, his teasing attitude slipped away and he continued, "Light-kun is currently my boyfriend, which is a somewhat childish stage. I want Light-kun to be my lover. That requires us to have sex, which Light-kun has refused for our entire relationship."

Light's cheeks flushed with anger (and embarrassment, though he wouldn't admit the latter). "If this is how you're planning on telling me you want us to break up -"

"But I don't," L interrupted.

"I'm not going to agree to you having someone else on the side," Light snapped.

L stared at him. "Light-kun believes that if I were having sex with someone else I would let him know about it?"

"With your failure to grasp social conventions? You'd probably just ask me to retroactively agree to an open relationship." The viciousness Light spoke with made L frown, just a little. There was something here that he wasn't grasping, and it was incredibly frustrating - almost as frustrating as fourteen months of dating his beautiful cocktease without getting beyond second base. Light clearly wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with him, but he equally clearly had something against ever actually having sex with L.

Fourteen months was long enough, L decided. He had no intention of forcing himself on Light, but he felt that he should at least be allowed to see his boyfriend naked - even if it was only once, since he had a nagging suspicion that Light would change his mind about breaking up after this.

Decision reaffirmed, he started unbuttoning Light's shirt. Light tried to wriggle away, eyes wide with panic. "What are you doing?"

"I am undressing you." He couldn't completely remove Light's shirt without ruining it, but he got it as far off as he could before undoing Light's trousers.

"No, you're not!" Light jammed his thighs together, preventing L from getting his trousers or boxers off. L stared at him, trying to ignore his prickling unease. He'd expected Light to kick at him, instead of taking this defensive position. It wouldn't even keep him safe - if L _did_ mean to rape him, holding his legs together like that would just make it easier to lift them, and he had to be aware of that.

"Light. I want to see my boyfriend naked. I will not touch you aside from the amount required to get your clothes off."

Light glared at him, then stopped fighting. "Fine."

L blinked at him. That sudden surrender was a little too abrupt to be believable. He considered stopping just to see Light's reaction, but... things had already gone too far for that. He'd known when he started this that Light would break up with him the moment he unlocked the cuffs, and if he backed down now it would mean that he'd pushed Light too far for nothing.

He tugged at Light's trousers and boxers, deciding to remove both pieces of clothing at once. Light arched his back to help him get them off, his glare darkening. L kept an eye on him in case he was just trying to get L into the best position to be kicked, but Light didn't even look down to measure the distance and angle, focussing on keeping his legs as close together as he could without impeding the removal of his clothes.

L backed away from the bed as soon as the clothes were fully gone. Confident that he was out of Light's range, and therefore safe from immediate retaliation, he finally let himself take in Light's body.

Light was still squeezing his thighs together and trying to melt L's face off with his glare, but L ignored that for a moment as he took in the young man laid out on his bed. Light had, once, allowed L to talk him out of his shirt, and he tended to wear shorts when they played tennis against each other, but L had never seen him naked before.

He tried not to be bothered by Light's soft cock. It wasn't exactly a surprise that Light didn't find the situation very sexy, however disappointing it might be.

Light squirmed a little as L stared, then spoke up after a few seconds. "There. You've seen me naked. Now give me my clothes back and get out."

L frowned. "I could help Light dress -"

"NO! Now GET OUT!"

L jerked back, anticipating a kick that never came. His frown deepened. "What is Light-kun hiding?"

He wasn't sure he'd ever seen his appearance-obsessed boyfriend so furious. "GET OUT!"

"Not yet." He dodged as Light finally kicked at him, bewildered and concerned by the way that he was holding his legs together despite the inefficiency of the method. "Light-kun must realise that I need to uncuff him first."

Light froze in the middle of drawing his legs up for another kick, sudden embarrassment turning his face bright red. "...oh," he said quietly, settling back on the bed.

L made a point of not leaning over Light as he unlocked the handcuffs, another small concession to Light's fears. He knew Light was observant enough to realise that he wouldn't be so considerate for most people.

Light relaxed noticeably as his wrists were freed, but he still kept his legs pressed together.

"What is Light-kun afraid of?" L asked, voice quieter than usual to simulate gentleness.

Light's glare was closer to a pout this time. "It's none of your business."

L scoffed at him. "Given the effect it is having on our relationship, I believe I can safely say that it is, in fact, entirely my business."

The glare grew in intensity, but Light wasn't tensing or trying to leave or go for his clothes, which meant that part of him agreed with L's declaration but his pride wasn't allowing him to explain. Well-used to this battle, L started undressing. His first move should always be to put Light off-balance and force him to continue their conversation.

"What are you doing?"

He blinked as innocently as he could. "Light-kun has allowed me to see him naked. I felt that it would only be fair to let him see me."

Light's eyes narrowed, but he didn't bother to protest, and L could see his cock filling as he watched L strip. Finally naked, L held his arms out and turned slowly on the spot, making sure that Light got to see him from every angle.

"Very subtle," Light snorted, but L could recognise the faint glimmer of genuine humour in his eyes. The complexity of the situation was amusing, in its way; L was showing off his body and that he could outdo Light in something, _and_ setting Light up to 'owe' L something because L had gone further than him, a ruling which would hold between them despite Light's initial unwillingness to participate in this.

L decided to make his terms clear. "Now that Light-kun has seen me from every angle, I would like him to please answer my question. What frightens him about being at my mercy?"

"You don't have any," Light sniped, but it was an automatic response while he decided whether he was going to tell L the truth. Recognising that, L didn't bother to respond to the bait.

He watched with concern as Light's erection softened again while he debated with himself as to whether he would give L the answers he was after. Coming to a decision, Light didn't speak at all. Instead, he spread his thighs, staring grimly at the ceiling as if bracing himself.

L went to the foot of the bed, and stared. He'd have preferred to see from a closer angle, but held back through consideration for Light - and a desire to avoid being kicked.

That lasted exactly as long as it took him to realise what he was seeing. Between Light's thighs, under his scrotum but above the pucker of his asshole, was a slit, just as natural a part of Light's body as the rest of what L was seeing.

L scrambled onto the bed and between Light's spread legs, ducking closer to study his boyfriend's previously-hidden anatomy. Light tensed, pride holding him still.

L raised his head to look at Light's face. "Light-kun is a futanari," he breathed, usually monotone voice soft with wonder. His tone was unusual enough to make Light look down from his staring match with the ceiling, but the brown eyes were still closed-off, defensive.

"Don't Westerners translate that as 'Dickgirls'?" he challenged. "Because I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm _male_."

"And I am bisexual, and very happy that Light-kun identifies as male," L assured him. "This does not make me unappreciative of the discovery that my boyfriend -"

"Is a freak?" Light interrupted bitterly. "Is half-female? Should stop pretending to be as good as a _real_ man? Isn't even as good as a real _woman,_ because I can't get pregnant -"

L cut him off by leaning over him until he was staring directly into Light's eyes from inches away, his bangs falling onto Light's forehead. "Does Light-kun honestly believe that my opinion of him is dependent on the state of his genitalia?"

Light's eyes flickered, glancing away and then back as defensiveness (fear? Of what he might see in L's face if he looked this closely?) fought with pride (and hope, after that first glance).

L sighed at him. "Can't you trust me?" He forced himself to abandon his own distancing technique of using the third person.

"After you chained me to the bed?" Light challenged, but L saw the guilt and apology in the tiny changes to his expression straight after and knew all the messages they carried: it was habitual defensiveness, he recognised that L was intentionally leaving his own verbal comfort zone and didn't mean to throw that back in his face, being chained to the bed like this hadn't actually damaged his trust in L at all.

"Yes." He could tell that Light felt too vulnerable, so he shifted to hold Light's hands pinned to the bed on either side of his face. It was counterintuitive, but the physical vulnerability was a marvellous distraction from the emotional vulnerability that was making Light hold back. "Who told you you were not 'really' masculine?"

Light struggled half-heartedly, reassuring himself that L wouldn't let him go, and mumbled a name that L didn't quite catch. His eyes dropped in remembered shame, and for a disturbing moment L felt as if his boyfriend had forgotten that he was there.

"Light-kun."

"It doesn't matter!" he snapped. "I dumped him as soon as he started trying those mind games on me, as if I were too stupid to recognise them - or he thought I'd be distracted by my _feelings._ " 

L smirked, understanding and agreeing with Light's disdain. "I am surprised that Light-kun would bother with someone of such obviously lower intelligence." Clearly the boy, whoever he was, had been stupid enough to think that the walls around Light's heart would be slipped past on a surge of hormones with sweet words or a pretty face.

Light grimaced. "He seemed like the best choice available at the time; discreet enough not to draw my parents' attention and able to hold a half-decent conversation." He sneered. "The ignoramus couldn't even kiss well. I'd have been better off trying with Yamamoto; at least _he_ can tell I'm male."

Shelving the clue towards this old boyfriend's identity in the back of his mind, L leaned forwards and said, "I hope Light-kun has never had reason to complain of my kissing skills." He was rewarded with a delightful flush of pink over Light's cheeks as the movement made his cock 'accidentally' brush against Light's.

"They're adequate," Light acknowledged, his attempt to be haughty sabotaged by the faint breathiness of his voice.

L bent his head and drew his lips over Light's neck. "Perhaps I should try kissing Light-kun elsewhere, then, and see if he still thinks them only adequate."

Light tensed slightly, immediately understanding where he had in mind.

L moved back to stare into his eyes again. Much as he enjoyed their teasing, there were lines he refused to risk crossing, and that meant that going any further required Light's agreement. "Light-kun. I wish to have sex with you. Specifically, I find your unique anatomy extremely appealing and plan on focussing a great deal of attention on it."

Light's blush deepened, but he had the familiar mixture of amusement and doubt on his face which meant he was thinking 'He can't be that blind to social conventions, can he?' again.

"Are you planning on detailing all your actions?"

L grinned. "What a marvellous suggestion to reassure Light-kun as to what I am doing!"

"No, L, that's not necessary -" Light started to protest, trying to sit up, but L let go of his hands to put one hand on his chest and push him back onto the bed as he crawled backwards to reach Light's groin. He was pleased to see that Light didn't push him off or move away - as clear a consent as was needed between the two of them. If he waited for Light to swallow enough pride to explicitly give verbal consent, Light would still be a virgin when he died of old age.

"I am going to kiss Light-kun's penis," he announced, and bent to do so. The pose hid his smile when Light grew hard before he touched him.

"L," Light protested, half-laughing, then caught his breath as L did just as he'd said.

L's smile widened as Light's cock jumped under his lips. He moved just far enough for Light to hear his voice clearly. "I am going to lick Light-kun's penis while touching his vagina."

Light shifted uncertainly, but didn't protest. L's tongue slowly moved from the base of Light's cock to the tip as he brought one hand between Light's thighs and stroked the divide as gently as he could. Light moaned, his legs instinctively shifting further apart. L lapped at his cock and slowly applied more pressure, smiling as he felt Light growing slick under his fingers. He lapped at the head of Light's cock as he eased the tip of one finger inside him.

"Haah, L -" Light raised himself on one elbow, expression torn between desire and uncertainty.

"Does Light-kun wish me to stop?"

"No!" Light blinked, surprised by his own answer.

L smiled at him. "Then may I go further?"

Light looked nervous, but he nodded and lay down again, spreading his thighs further.

L licked down Light's cock, his finger pushing deeper inside. Light was very slick inside, and he could feel the tight muscles loosening around his finger. Light panted and whined as L's finger slowly pumped in and out, his cock dripping precum out of sympathy with his wetter-by-the-moment pussy.

L eased his finger out of Light and bent his head, tongue sliding inside him. Above him, Light made a sound of not-quite-protest, quivering with shock. L took his time, comparing the tastes, finding that Light's pussy was sweeter and his precome more tangy. "Light-kun - is - delicious," he said, licking deep inside his lover between each word. Light whined, hips rising to meet L's tongue. L smiled, glad it was hidden - he had a strange feeling Light wouldn't appreciate it.

Light reached down, and his fingers dug into L's hair as he switched from licking to tongue-fucking his lover. "L," he moaned, and L's smile grew as he noticed Light's balls tightening and realised how close he already was.

L pulled back, getting a delicious sound of complaint from his lover. "If my suspicions about Light's anatomy are correct, then his prostate would be accessible from inside his pussy, as opposed to his ass." L held up his index fingers and looked innocent. "Would Light-kun be interested in experimenting to discover whether I am correct?"

He memorised Light's face as Light glared at him, flushed and desperate for more. "Yes! Yes, you bastard, anything, just don't -" he moaned when L's finger slid inside - "Don't stop, L, _please_ -" The word made L falter, and then he found the spot he was searching for and drew another whine from his lover. "So close, I'm so close, it's - ah - ah!" Light threw his head back and yelled, his pussy pulsing around L's finger as liquid squirted from it and his untouched cock.

L looked at his thoroughly wrecked lover and couldn't hide the smirk that covered his face. "Did Light-kun enjoy his first orgasm?"

Light panted, too out of it to speak yet. The look he gave L told him that he was going to pay for this later, but instead of pushing him away Light spread his legs wider and tugged demandingly at L to get him to move further up.

L obeyed, curious as to what Light was planning. Light reached between them to finally grasp L's cock in a shaking hand, but instead of giving him the handjob he expected Light positioned it at the opening of his pussy. The first words out of his mouth weren't complaints or reluctant praise, but, "Come on, come on."

"Light-kun?" L had to admit to being surprised by Light's actions.

Light glared up at him, hungry for more. "Come on! Don't tell me you don't want it," and the order reminded L how emotionally vulnerable Light was right now.

"Of course I do. I was surprised Light does not mind."

Light bared his teeth in a sharp grin. "At least it's more hygienic than the usual option."

"True," L agreed with amusement, and started to push inside.

Light was so tight around him it just barely avoided being painful, slicker than any woman he'd ever been inside, hotter than any other man. "Light," he gasped, staring at his lover, seeing him flushed and sweating as he considered the feeling of L inside him and decided he liked it. Light threaded his fingers through L's hair again and pulled him down for a kiss, which changed their positions so that L sank deeper inside him. "Yes," he breathed, tightening around L's cock and moaning with surprised pleasure before doing it again intentionally, provoking L to start thrusting harder until they found the perfect rhythm between them, Light opening to L's every thrust inside him and then tightening to hold him when he pulled back. They could both feel their orgasms building, drawing near, but L could tell he was closer than Light so he leaned back, changing his angle to hit Light's prostate with every thrust, and Light's rhythm stuttered in shock before he came again, clinging to L with his limbs and his pussy, pulling L's orgasm out of him.

L collapsed onto Light, who grunted but didn't complain, wrapping his trembling arms tightly around his lover. They lay in silence as their breathing evened out.

"You aren't allowed to have sex with anyone else." Light didn't look at L as he issued his command.

L felt something strange in his chest - a softening, a warmth, that he'd never experienced with anyone other than Light. "I have no intention of doing so."

Light glanced at him, unimpressed. "Or any kind of sexual act. I don't care if it's for a case or if it's to save someone's life, you aren't allowed to. ...Unless," he added reluctantly, "the life in question is yours. You aren't allowed to die, either."

L nodded, wondering for a moment what it would be like to have a life where that amendment would be unthought of. "Will you abide by the same rules?"

Light nodded once, decisively.

"Good." L wondered absently how long he could get away with staying put before Light complained. Neither of them were the snuggling kind, but being close like this was nice. "How long will it take you to pack?"

Light turned to look at him. L watched with surprise as a faint blush of embarrassment covered his face. Was Light actually feeling shy? "What do you mean, pack?"

"We have eighteen months of celibacy to make up for, and I have a case in Russia which requires my personal attention."

Light glared. "You think I'm just going to be your personal bedwarmer?"

L smiled back at him. "It was Light-kun's choice to turn down every offer of mine to take him as my personal assistant. I would be perfectly happy to take him as more than a personal bedwarmer."

Light stared at him, then burst out laughing. "Only you, L. Only you. No one else would use their lover's first time as leverage to persuade them to work together."

"Was that a yes?" L asked hopefully. To his shock, Light kissed him.

"I'll consider it."

Seeing how well that had gone, L couldn't resist pushing further. "Would using your first time as leverage to marry you be more traditional?"

Light's amusement vanished under his total shock. "My father would kill you."

"Possibly," L allowed.

"My reputation - both of our reputations -"

"Are irrelevant."

Light shook his head with finality. "No, L. We're not getting married."

L pouted. "Light would look very dashing and handsome in a tuxedo." Light exuded smug agreement, but didn’t take back his words. L sniffled. "And I had found myself the perfect dress..."

Light’s expression was priceless.

**Author's Note:**

> Theme of the day: 'I forgot to post this'.
> 
> In this case, the link to the sequel: [Wedding (Dress)](http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/4409390).


End file.
